Confessions of a Starving Artist

“…after the flood all the colors came out…”  - Beautiful Day  U2

I just got done watching the pre-show for the today’s Monday night football game in New Orleans.  For those who have not gathered, this is the first game that the New Orleans’ Saints will play in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina demolished The Big Easy.  As I said, I watched the pre-game show with U2 and Green Day as well as some of finest brass players that the city has to offer.  It was a moving moment, to say the very least, when The Saints came marching out of the tunnel and took the field. 

Someone, some fool, on CNN this morning mused that the amount of money that it took to rebuild the Superdome to stature would have been better used to give aid to those within the city.  I could not have disagreed more with any statement that CNN has thrown out in the past year or longer; and that in itself is a bold statement.  Senator John McCain (R, AZ) has said since the very beginning of our country’s ‘problems’ that our national sports leagues would hold this country together.  At first, I thought that this was a bit of a stretch, maybe even wishful thinking, but the wisdom of that statement has penetrated one of the greatest intangible, indefinable, and unassumable truths in these gray times for our country.

I felt tingles watching the crowd in the Superdome while sitting on my couch in Fayetteville, almost as if I could feel their emotion coming through the screen, the crowds hysterical chanting as if I may join in.  Tingles and a bit of a tear being held back just behind the eye.  The last time I felt that way was this past Sept. 11th… during the NLF tribute at halftime on kick-off weekend. 

I am not an emotional guy.  Sure, I cried at the end of Braveheart, and once in a while I’ll watch “Desperate Housewives”, but I think that puts me somewhere in the ‘normal guy’ category.  Also, I am not really a ‘football nut’, though this year I’m high on hog due to Carson Palmer and the Bengal’s looking like they are going to make a bid at something ’super’ of there own.  My middle school, high school, and college; none of these had football programs at all, so I have never even really understood the tailgating thing.  But I do understand about the unity that The NFL is bringing to some of those of us who are trying to keep some sanity with respect to national identity.

Because a football team is a unifying factor, one that an entire city shares.  The National Football League is a collection of such unifying factors, brought together through competition and yet a brotherhood of players, a level of respect, and most of all, a history that connects not just multiple generations of athletes, but multiple generations of fans as well.  These are teams that are woven into all over our lives, whether we know it nor not.  These are teams that represent the pride of thirty-two cities within the United States of America.  These are teams that carry the hopes of and dreams of all classes of Americans.  This isn’t college ball whose stadiums are packed with 18 through 24 year olds, alumni who by definition are college grads, and close members of the college community.  No, these are fans of all walks of life; all income brackets, all education levels, all ages, all races, all beliefs - all fans.

The New Orleans Saints, should they win, will be a team that no one expected to start the season at 3-0.  I know I didn’t.  Morale is something that needs to be refreshed in the Big Easy, and Reggie Bush and the New Orleans Saints are doing it.  It’s like one of those Visa commercials; something that you can’t put a monetary sum to - it’s priceless.  Speaking of money, did you know that this is the first season in franchise history of The Saints that the entire season has completely sold out?  And it’s only week three.  If that’s not income for the city, I don’t know what is.  Further, the accelerated work done on the Superdome was done, in large part, through volunteers who recognize what it means for The Saints to return to their home.  

Sen. McCain was and is correct.  Our sports are keeping a lot of what it truly means to be an American alive, and as Spike Lee just mentioned from the announcer’s booth, “I am amazed by the power of sports.”  Like the Romans, there is power in the coliseum.  Our politics do not move me, they make me stoic and dark; our President does not move me, but I suppose that’s my own reception; but the NFL has gotten me twice this year to feel a since of pride, emotion, and strength that is akin to what we all should be feeling as a countr who is not necessarily at war but more accurately, country at stake.  And it’s only week three.

Shame on the fear-mongers at CNN for even mentioning something as heartless as thinking the Superdome does not matter.  You could take a lesson in broadcasting from John Madden. 

… or learning how to play with others all over again.

Hugo Chavez, the elected President of Venezuela, visited the United States this past week as well as the United Nations openly disclaiming President Bush and going so far as calling him ‘the devil’ not only to crowds of American people, but also the assembly of the UN.  Many fellow bloggers as well as national opinion mongers have written in the last two weeks that we should not even have let President Chavez into the country let alone speak.  Even earlier, many were saying that the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, should not be allowed into the country to speak at Harvard University either .  Many politicians spoke up against letting these world leaders into our country as well.  Strangely enough, these are the same politicians in our country who believe that just walling up inside our own country would be suicidal (and they’re right), but I digress on that subject.  However, I will use this as a jumping off point.

You would have to be living in one of those Katrina-issued mobile homes without TV or news in order to have been unable to guess, at least in a roundabout fashion, what these men would say to the American public.  The issue at hand is not about guessing; as Americans we are getting very good at guessing.  We start wars on our ability to guess, in fact.  The issue at hand is remembering what it means to be an American, i.e. how not to guess, but rather how to play your hand, even if you have to lose a few to win by the end of the night.  If your reading this, you have probably also read my various and smaller points on civics and identity, and that’s pretty much all I am going to talk about here.  Currently, I’m reading Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series, and as Roland of Gilead would say, “we’ve forgotten the face of our fathers.”

Always hold with this central point - we are Americans, and we must act as such.  Not the America of the last sixty years; please realize we have been at a Cold War for over a generation, and that has affected us in a terrible manner.  We must remember who we are as a nation of old, of a Republic.  Our politics then must be sound and in accordance with that.  Without dwelling here, our system of government (the model we violently hold other countries to) is based on three key branches: executive, legislative, and judicial.  The third is further based on the thought that a man is innocent until proven guilty.  This might be a weak segway, admittedly, but check this out:  barring a man from our country when he and his country have done nothing but disagree with our leader and his policies is out-and-out bad politics and foreign policy.  Shame on anyone who thinks otherwise.  America, we made the correct moves in this manner, and it has shown through for the most part.

President Chavez took his message to improvised Americans seeking one thing - to create a further discord among Americans.  We did not allow it.  The fact that we pretty much knew he was going to do that is beside the point.  His words and actions have discredited him throughout the entire international community, and I feel, it has even bolstered ours in the same arena.  Like the annoying guy who we don’t really want to invite to the party, but we do anyway out of being a bigger person, President Chavez has made an ass of himself to the whole of the American people and world by being as disrespectful as he was to a host.  Not only do we not have to worry about not inviting him to our next party, but I wonder if there is anyone in the intire United States who would want this guy at their next shin-dig.  By letting him do his stupid rantings, we win -  just good politics.  Most of us are very aware that even the BBC is reporting on the stunned response from almost every nation in attendance (including most Middle Eastern countries) of the UN from President Chavez’s address berating President Bush, but what you may not be aware of is the response of one man in a crowd of impoverished blacks in inner Harlem who spoke up when President Chavez was addressing them about President Bush’s neglect toward them.  The man said from the crowd after a few moments of listening the Venezuelan President speak, “…we can bad mouth our President; but you can’t,” to which the crowd applauded.

Kids, that’s really important.    We should not fear any official from any country coming over to talk ill of our Commander in Chief.  We should fear the fact that this may have an effect on us.  We all knew what he was going to say, right?  So why did anyone show up, unless it was likened to the case of this Harlem man?  It’s the actions of our civilians that mark fear and worry as well as national pride and patriotism.  You can be nearly sure that he has not prospered under President Bush, but this man recognized that as he, a lower class minority within our culture, may speak against and openly to the face of ruler of another country, and as such, he did not wake up in any land other than America!  Consider that for just a moment.

Now, the other visit, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.  Totally different plate of humus.  This man is, in my opinion, brilliant… in a very dangerous way.  But also in a way that can be subverted.  From his interviews, I can almost sympathize with this man’s political point of view concerning American interests in the region.  Remember, this man is drawing from our history in the Middle East dating back to WWII even if ours only goes back to Sept. 11th  (…though his whole debunking The Holocaust almost as humorous as it is genius politically to his followers).  More to it, he does not care if our political interests were focused on the Russians for quiet sometime; it was his ‘people’ who got stepped on.  The Cold War was waged in the Third World; Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq… these were part the Third World and battleground.  Some hard-line military historians look at the strikes that the Arab World has been making on sovereign American soil starting in 1979 with the attack on the US Embassy in Iran!  Consider: it was the Cold War, there was alot of unreported ’stuff’ going on - are you honestly saying we did nothing in those countries to provoke those attacks?  While I do not rule out that possibility, I find it extremely hard to believe that we were just minding our own business in the region, not impossing our will in order to keep the Communists from impossing their’s.  Further, I think in those days, we probably got some level of retribution for those attacks that the general public never heard about.  Maybe not on both counts… I can’t say because I don’t know.  Point here, I don’t think the Middle East ever asked for our presence in the region.

Back to the main point, President Ahmadinejad was in the US for nearly a week, and our President did not meet with him.  Missed opportunity, I feel.  President Ahmadinejad has indicated that he is not in accord with the US’s presence in the region, but he has also expressed a desire to sit down and talk to President Bush, to understand more our points of view.  These requests have been ignored by President Bush.  Why?

Obvious answer, because he supports ‘the terrorists’, and America does not negotiate with terrorists.  Perhaps not that simple.  Iran has vowed to “wipe Israel from the face of the planet”, not the US.  I know we have always supported Israel, but that has been because we were the militant arm of the United Nations.  Quiet clearly, we are not that anymore, yet we hold to this alliance with Israel, which in essence gets us nothing save our integrity, which is debatably intact in the world’s eye.  A different point altogether, true, but what I am saying is that Iran and the United States could really discuss the issues that we have directly between us, maybe even aid each other in a tit-for-tat sort of arrangement… but, oh yeah, there is that Israel thing.  A sticky wicket, to be sure… but I think you know where I’m going with this. 

So let me try a show you - here is the playing board, and look hard, because it’s cluttered and complicated.  First off, look at our place at the UN like this: remember in college that frat brother or sorority sister who was always really active until their senior year and then they just came to the meetings but that was about it.  That’s kinda us with the UN.  We are there only in presence, and we’ve shown that by kind of skipping out on some of the sorority bake sales, if you catch my meaning.  Second, the UN is not all incompassing anymore.  Many of the leaders of other counties (maybe at the UN, maybe not) are taking the same approach as the USA, doing and saying their own thing, however; they choose to not follow the rules.  Look at the faces, Hugh Chavez (Venezuela), Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran), Kim Jong Ill (North Korea), Jean-Pierre Bemba (Congo), Mahmoud Abbas (Palistine), Hassan Nasrallah (Hezbollah), Felipe Calderon (Mexico), Pervez Musharraf  (Pakistan), Wen Jiabao and Li Changchun (China), and lets not forget that Somalia doesn’t have anyone that I can list.  What about the good guys?  You got President Bush (USA), Tony Blair (UK… even though he’s stepping down), Jacques Chirac (France), Richard von Weizsaecker (Germany), John Howard (Australia), and Stephen Harper (Canada).

Most of you are thinking one of several thoughts; ‘who the heck is this guy’ or ‘is this guy really a good/bad guy’?  And that is exactly my point; we don’t have a clear cut single enemy here, and as a matter of fact, each one of these guys has a completely different agenda, just as we have a completely different agenda for each and every one of them.  We are back in pre-WWII global community, so let’s start acting like it!  Its not us and them; if it is we are really out gunned.  The good thing is that they are not united either, but if we keep treating them like they are, very soon they will be, because they will all have one thing in common: us.  Are we going to get everything we want from all these guys?  Not even if we invaded each one of there countries one by one and could torture every friggin’ person that didn’t speak English along the way.  We got to go to the tables with each one of these guys and see what we can and cannot get out of each.  Some are reasonable, some are not.  But you will not know until you start looking at them all individually. 

We need to let go of trying to control everything.  No one is going to creep up on us and over run America if we give a little here and there.  The Soviets/Taliban/Al-Qaeda will not form up an invasion force in some other country should we enter into a dialogue as opposed to economic sanctions and military actions.  This was the one place where I was a big Clinton fan.  Bottomline; we will be fine if we keep in mind the interests of America but realize we are not in a space-race with anyone anymore, that our way is not the only way (just the only way for us), and that we will level your country and leave you begging for aid if you chose to start shit with us.  Basically, we need to remember the face of our fathers.

The most ass-kicking per square minute that I have ever experienced…

I have not been out to movies in a while.  So today, after realizing that I had just sat through Sister Act on TBS while doing, in effect, nothing, I quickly grabbed up my spare change and decided to go to see a film.  As it was, the only thing that was really playing for an hour in either direction was a Quentin Tarantino backed film called The Protector.  Tarantino does seem to know martial arts films, so I decide to spring for the six dollar ticket and go in. 

I am going to ruin the film for you guys.  Its about elephants.  Yup, elephants.  But don’t let that convince you not to go see this before it leaves the theaters.  Pound for pound, the fight scenes in this film make you cringe with their brutal and original nature.  And how constantly dudes get punished by kicks that would make Billy Banks shiver.  There is one scene where Tony Jaa must break over fifty-bones in under a minute, not exaggerating.  The sequence in ‘the resturant’ where our hero fights his way up the stairs was unlike anything that I had ever seen.  And to top it off, at one point, one of the bad guys throws a baby elephant.  Seriously.  I would not recommend that you bring children under the age of thirteen to see this film; they will kick each others ass sometime in the next forty-eight hours… and have a strange facination with elephants for a few days. 

If you like the old Bruce Lee style paper-thin plot lines, bone-crushing fight scenes, and loosey-goosey story flow, then this movie is a must see… and even if you don’t like those types of films, you’ll still be entertained.  PS, Chuck Norris loves this film.

Sometimes, ten minutes is all you want.

I finished my workout today in my new gym.  Gym would be a bit of an understatement as this place definately falls into the clasification of health spa.  True, you can lift weights in an immaculate workout center, but you can also attend any one of seventy-five different areobics classes during the week, some aquatic; get healthy sandwiches and protein enriched smoothies (which I do); spend time in their internet cafe; pick up your children from the on-site day-care; or sit in the steam bath or sauna.  Moreover, there is still an honest-to-goodness spa with manicures, peticures, massages, facials, etc.  But after my workout, I decided to try something else; the jacuzzi.

There happens to be a ten minute limit on the jacuzzi here.  I thought that was odd, but I guess with the uppercrust of Fayetteville in attendance, there must be some sort of germaphobic tendancies; that is, only one person seems to get into the water at a time, and most will wait their turn if the pool is occupied.  But, having finished up by lunch time today, I figured, what the heck, no one’s going to be waiting on me.  After turning on the timer to rouse the bubbles from their hiding spots and a quick jump into the shower to rinse the man-stink off from my workout, I sank into the warm soothing whirlpool.

Now, the following account is not intended to have a point, per se; not any organized one anyway.  That’s important to note.  The following is simply an account of what goes through my brain during a random ten minute time frame…. and go.

So I sunk into the water and immediately started to look about at my surroundings: the tiled floor, aforementioned sauna, steam bath, the general Bloshevism of it all.  I began to consider how fortunate that I am being a young officer in the most powerful Army in the world in the most powerful nation (debateable) in the world.  The sky is the limit, and that all this that I am surrounded with, this spa, this car, this house (hopefully), this job; well, it makes the arguement all things are possible.  Further, I begin to think how I deserve this.  Perhaps I am a member of the American aristorcatsy after all?  But nothing more, of course… or perhaps there is something more?   I am a member of The State (as the bubbles swirl) and as such there should be some comparable level of material respect paid to one who is willing to give all, and moreso offered up to those who lead those who give all.

Then I think about the scene in the movie Scarface, as I notice that my hands have moved out into a large gull stretch, not unlike the classic scene with Pacino in his bathtub taking to Michelle Pfeiffer smoking a large stoggie.  Pride before the fall; these words march across my mind, and my hands retreat into the water in shallow, sudsy dignity.  One should not think that one deserves what he gets, he simply gets what he gets and enjoys what he has.  I have no complaints about my life, and I do not think that I would if for some reason my place would become juxtaposed.  However, as I glance up to the clock on the wall, my hands fan out again to grasp the far ends of the pool.

The clock on the wall is a plastic Wal-mart special that does not in anyway match the decour of the rest of the men’s locker room.  It is cracked along the underside, and a large chunk of the external panel is missing.  For a moment I refect on imperfections, and how no matter how full of cleanliness (and or Godliness) we accessorize our lives, there is always going to be the proverbial scratch on your car that only you see.  That meditation passes, and I slip back out of the realm of glamour actors and rock star amenities, and back into the miltary world.  After all, this clock is more the caliber of government spending as opposed to the corporate world; “spared no expense” verses “good enough for government work”, as it were.  Again, thinking about luxury, I realized, likening the military mindset, that should this be the way of an Officer, then none of this experience is really individal in nature.  There are other Officers who receive this same treatment, and if they don’t, they should, regardless of whether or not I think they are better at their jobs than me.  ”Salute the rank, not the man” is the saying.  And if that is the case, then certainly it does not pertain to only our military but all Officer Corps within Armies of note.  England, France, Germany, immediately came to mind, but then I thought of other less obvious answers which may as well fit the mold.  Korea?  Russia?  Mexico?  Iraq?

That stuck me.  What if that was the juxtaposition: myself and an Iraqi Officer before the fall of Saddam.  Perhaps there was one who sat in a hot tub not unlike this and mused on how perfect everything was save a cracked clock on his wall?  Strangely metaphoric and foreshadowing thoughts considering.  Now where this theortical leader may have mused could be nothing more than a blown out concrete hull; all that is left of his luxury, his entitlement, his spa.  (note:  yes, the Iraqis have/had spas)  Thoughts run to stereotypical assumptions on the motivations of this individual, but more often than not, Soldiers are not fanaticals, but rather very human.  That being said, he is probably more like you (should you be a fellow Officer) and me than not.  For a moment, I felt a shard of sympathy for the kindred warriors that lost much or all in the first and only wave of American invasion in Iraq.  But it is this fate that we all accept in this, our profession: we may fall.  As I know it, he knew it - regardless of motivations… and that is honorable.  Then the timer rang, and I got out of the settling pool of water.

Even as I am typing I can still smell the chlorine on my hands.

five short years, four stressed military services, three feature films, two troubled countries, and a long way to go from here…

I rolled out to Womack Army Hospital for my 30 day follow up this morning about an hour after sun up.  My first notice was that the flag was at half-mast.  Then I paused in rememberance of what today was, not that I had forgotten, but it was nice to see that not others need not be reminded.  There should be no need remind anyone, as I am sure we all know what today is better than we know how old our fathers are or what our siblings birthdays might be; we remember what we were doing that morning better than we remember what we may have had for breakfast on this morning or what we did this past weekend.  I remember my morning five years ago quiet well actually.

I was hung over.  It was my senior year, and I got up around ten a.m., put on my Class A cadet dress uniform, and went to a meeting at the ROTC Hall to confirm with the freshmen cadets who were trying to pull what can only be equated to some sort revolt about not wanting to train.  So after meeting/yelling at them, I went into the cadre building, and noticed that it was a bit more sober around the coffee pot than usual. Somebody told me that a plane had hit the World Trade Center… but not with any degree of distress; I believe the cadre were putting on strong faces as no one really knew what was happening at that point. I honestly thought that they meant like a prop plane or a little two seater or something. The weird thing is I remember very distinctly one of the Captains saying, “I’ll bet it’s that damn Osama Bin Ladin.”  Nobody knew who he was then, so I always remember that guy as being ‘in the know’… at least someone was, right?

So I went to the University cafe still in uniform, got my lunch, and sat down to watch TV. Of course you can guess what was on all the televisions.  I watched it for a minute (no sound) for about ten minutes (during which the first tower actually fell!), and I asked the guy next to me what we were watching. He told me this wasn’t a movie, that this was real. I actually started crying for a red hot second, before I realized that I was in uniform and most of the cafe was looking at me. I left my food, walked back across campus, went back to my apartment, and laid on the couch, stared at the ceiling, refusing to listen to the radio or TV, until well past midnight when I fell asleep.

Now here we are, five years later.  I wonder, did I wake up? 

Last weekend, Glasheen and myself sat in a coffee house on Ludlow Avenue in Cincinnati, and she asked me what Iraq had to do with Sept 11, as if perhaps my militant ass might have insight into government underpinnings.  I stumbled for a moment, and, not wanting to look as though I was unread on the subject, I went into my best analysis, which, while it pleased both of us in answer, must have seemed more like a game of Seven Steps to Kevin Bacon.  My answer had to do in part with the actual reasons involving WMD and the UNs continued lack to action v. discussion, and but also with the Sunni relationship of the Taliban and the Baathist party, whom were the dominating power in the region.  The bottomline is that I would like to resend my conclusion that afternoon in Cincinnati with a quote from our own President just the other day in a press conference, “Of course, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.”

I am not concerned that I voted Bush, but I am concerned more that I did not have anyone else to vote for other than John Kerry.  I am concerned while I supported toppling Saddam from power, but I am more concerned that we were the only country in the world that saw him as a threat to Israel and the rest of the the Free World, thereby leaving this as our problem when it really belonged to much more than us.  I am concerned that while we have captured Saddam, we have not captured Osama Bin Ladin, the man who did strike against us, is not our top priority, at least, not in man power.  I am concerned that our countries civics and central identity errodes, but I am more concerned that we pour money into a countries that errode regardless.  I am concerned the while we fight against theocracies, we become ever closer to one ourselves.  I am concerned that we are forgetting our own history of action.

But how can we help but concerned and unactionable?  My favorite question (which was asked to me today, in fact) is this: As a member of the military, what do you think about the war in Iraq?  Should we be there?  This is the most horrid question that we as Americans concern ourselves with, yet it is indicative of our domestic, lazy, armchair quarterback culture.  What we are really asking rhetorically in that question is, did we make the right decision a few years ago.  The answer is not yes or no - it is, what does it matter right now?  Let the historians figure that one out when we are all said and done.  Right now, we should be concerned with progression, solving the problem; finding an endstate and then figuring out specifically what we need to do to get there.  Nobody is doing that.  Does anyone actually know what “the course” that GW is talking about actually is or what “orange” means on the terror threat level?   … sorry, I digress…

I overheard someone yesterday muse that the fourth plane that went down in Pennsylvaina, Flight 93, was actually en route to hit the White House.  I thought that was kind of common theory that the reason the plane that hit the Pentagon was actually circling was that it was supposedly looking for the White House when it found a more obvious target from the air.  My favorite hypothysis is that the plane was headed for the Statue of Liberty, which is far more likely based on the planes flight path.  Imagine that.  You really don’t have too; what we saw at ground zero should have been enough for us.  But we are a new breed of American.  We are content with seeing, and rather, hate feeling anything physically.  We have no concept of what it means to be an American of the Republic, because by and large, the vast majority of us did not earn an entry into it; we simply benifit from its umbrella by birth.  We have now an entire generation of children who do not know the Pledge of Alligence or My Country, ‘Tis of Thee.  We have no concern for anything in our lives for more than a comercial or entertainment’s-sake flash, unless it impacts us directly in our day to day lives, and even then, it’s only if that impact is an inconvience.  If that is truly the case we are no more a Nation than Iraq with its squabbling tribes and greedy skeiks.  Honesty, discounting whatever church you belong to, when was the last time you did something civic, charitable, or selfless for your country?  Further, could you imagine what this country would do if it had to undergo just one year of the type of war-rationing that happened during WWII if it meant catching Osama Bin Ladin and defeating the Taliban?  I bet this country would tear itself appart.

As it is, we are blinded; myself included on certain days.  We are concerned with our comfort as opposed to remembering the faces of those who died in that attack.  Mind you, we have not had our vengence as a country; you should not be satisified in anything that we have accomplished, because what have we?  The Taliban still exists.  Osama Bin Ladin not only lives, but functions against us!  We devote our man-power to a country whom should be cared for by global aid and UN military assistance (this only fuels my disgust at the UN).  And in response to our weakened efforts, we are holding more, perhaps worse, attacks from our real enemies at bay by the same level of luck the prevented the Nazi’s from taking Petersburg.  If we are not resolute in something soon, this winter may lift.

Lastly, regarding something I read yesterday and a brief commentary.  Do you recall the retired Generals whom stated their distaste for Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, and the fallout that followed?  This was considered inappropriate by many levels of senior government.  But read your history, folks.  First, there is a reason that that civilians lead the military; it was laid down by our founding fathers as such, so I won’t get into that.  But there is nowhere stated that the leaders of the military cannot disagree, perhaps even publically, so long as the chain of command is maintained and the mission is accomplished.  Historically, this is shown to be so in times of extreme stress to a country.  Gen. McClellan was outspoken against Lincoln’s Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton (whom Lincoln defended despite the North’s losing efforts at the time), and then later ran for President against Lincoln mid-war for power of the North.  More notable was the resignation of Gen. Matthew Ridgway, Gen. Maxwell Taylor, and Gen. James Gavin in response to President Eisenhower’s proposal to drastically shrink the Army and rely on strategic weapons alone at the outset of the Cold War.  The difference between Ridgway, Maxwell, and Gavin and the Generals who spoke against Rumsfeld is that each of the former three wrote dissertations in both specific concept and detail on how the Army should proceed.  These works were considered, and later became the basis for the full spectrum “flexible response” that guided us through the majority of the Cold War.

So where is our reading from these, a few good men?  Still on the printer?  But it’s okay, why should the retired not be allowed to armchair quarterback as well?  The important thing to consider when talking about 9/11 around the water cooler at work is that hindsight will still be twenty-twenty when this is all over, so there no need to consider who is to blame or which actions where the correct ones.  We should remember that day, remember the pain and the unity that we all felt.  And we must remember to look for solutions that work, not in relationship to maintaining a status quo, but rather to whom we are as a country, as a history, as a resolve that penitrates personal secruities and comforts… lest we forget whom we are.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands; one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

…are sooo ready for kicking.

For those of you that know me, sports are sports.  I like to watch them, but as far as being an obsessive fan who knows indepth statistics on some obscure quarterback from the late nineties who is now some third string million dollar suckfest, well; that I am not.  However, once in a while a season of some random sport comes along in which for whatever reason I become, for lack of a better word, excited.  The last time that it happened was a few years back when the Red Sox won the World Series.  For some reason, I was all about the baseball, from training camp to penant race.  And further, there are only a few teams in which I would call mine.  Come March Madness, I’ll rock the “X” because, well, I’m a Xavier alumni…  and I’m allowed.  The Red Sox are also mine due to my heritage of growing up in Maine, although this does not carry over to the Patriots, much to my grandfather’s dismay.  Patriots’ fans are a fickle bunch, and as a small kid I was more taken with another team though they sucked something fierce at the time; and though it was mainly because I liked their helmets: The Bengals.  As the saying goes, you’re not a Pats fan unless you were with them when they had Samuel Adams on their helmet.  For that, I am banished.  I find it interesting, to say the very least, that collegiate endevours brought me to Cincinnati.

Last season I was convinced that The Bengals were going to be at the Super Bowl.  When Carson Palmer went down on that first hit, I nearly clawed my own eyes from my head.  After seeing the worst Super Bowl that I have ever witnessed played out this past winter and watching one of the most undeserving teams win the Lombardi Trophy (a wide reciever won MVP… only because both QBs and RBs sucked ass), I knew that had Carson not gone down, it was extremely possible that Cinci would have taken it all home.  But ’tis better to have broken and lost than never to have played at all. 

This year is different.  Very different.  I honestly think that after watching the two sides of the divided Florida college house slug it out for a massive three rushing yards of combined offence that anyone watching college football has to be retarded or from Oklahoma or both… which is possible.  The NFL this year is full of dymanics, storylines, heroes - both old and new, and chock full of teams that have honest to goodness shots at play-offs and tickets to Miami come Super Bowl Sunday.  It is anyone’s year!  No sport analyst can decide on a clear winner, not any of them.  Sports Illustrated is saying one thing, ESPN is saying another; it’s all crazy talk… and I for one love the crazy talk.

And in the fashion of Bracketology 101, I offer up my NFL picks for this season.  Like I said, it’s anyone’s game out there, and that makes for true fans to stand up, put on that over-sized jersey, grab a cold NASCAR beer, and tail gate like you actually shelled out the money for tickets, because right now teams are going to need every edge they can get… and media expo is going to carry teams to play-off spots.  So, without further adeiu, let’s break it down.  Starting in the NFC.

The NFC East is easily the most enigmic division in either the NFC or AFC.  All four of these teams have the “potiential” to finish with winning seasons, the least likely of which is Washington.  The Redskins are loaded, however, with talent, though it is talent that has been used poorly.  Further, no one is expecting this Washington team to amount to anything, so nothing ventued nothing gained.  What does strike me about this team is the coach, Joe Gibbs, who in his third season with the Redskins has the highest ‘win’ percentage of any coach in the NFL (check the numbers… I did) and is behind only Bill Cowher (Steelers), Marty Schottenheimer (Chargers), and Bill Parcells (Cowboys) in games won.  If anyone can take a half-ass quarterback, an incredibly talented defensive line, and a solid set of offensive power and gel it all together; it’s this guy.  The Cowboys’ have an offensive arsenal lined up, but despite having the Guns of Navarone wearing blue and silver stars on their helmets, they really haven’t played together during the entire preseason, so I leave a question mark on a team that some are picking to win it all.  Not saying it’s impossible - I see them in the play-offs one way or the other.  The Giants are a huge sleeper, one that I think have just as much potential to get up in there as Dallas.  Manning, the Younger, has all the markings of a champion, but I agree with the critics, the defense as well as this QB have to step up.  If they do - watch out.  This is a squad of veterans and rookies and that is possibly very dangerous.  Finally, The Eagles.  Lots of people poo-poo T.O.’s old team as one that is left in shambles.  I don’t.  Dovan McNabb is a solid leader, despite the media’s negative imaging.  I find it as hard to believe the T.O. will bring the about the salvation of the Cowboys as it is to believe that the Eagles are as bad off as people think.  Sure, lots of these guys have low offensive numbers, but look at who just walked off the field with most of them (like a bitch, I might add…).  Look for the McNabb to rally these boys to put some big numbers up to some new players, sharing the wealth.  Oh, and the defense - not half bad.  Possibly one of the best in the NFL.

NFC South.  Panthers.  Panthers.  Panthers.  That defense will make up for any rocky starts that Keyshawn Johnson or Deshaun Foster might have.  This team has huge potiential to be a Super Bowl contender if Jake Delhomme can make things happen at QB and if the team can stay consistant.  Just going to be hard team to dispute.  Tampa Bay has the offensive, despite a few kinks, to possibly be a wild card contender, (what do you expect from a team who’s running back is named “Cadillac”), but that defense is not much.  At least, not yet.  It needs to step up big time with a second half the season schedule that is riddled with big offensive teams.  I don’t expect much from them, however; I do think they will hit a few teams about mid-season who are getting a bit swollen in the tights.  The Falcons biggest issue is that Micheal Vick runs the ball more than the running back, Warrick Dunn.  And running is something he will be doing alot with with that offensive line.  If Vick isn’t injuried by the post season, I would consider it for the first miracle he needs to be cannonized as a saint.  And speaking of which, the Saints will be fun to watch, if only for Reggie Bush, but the man is paid to carry the ball, not the team or the hopes of a hurricane battered town.  To bad, I like their helmets.

The NFC West is going to be dominated by the Seahawks.  Talk about a team with a chip on their shoulders.  This is a team that has it all - defense, secondary, special teams, running game, offensive line, quarterback… what’s missing?  Oh yeah, their best, nay, the NFL’s best guard, Steve Hutchingson.  Tough break… see you all (minus Hutchingson) in the post-season regardless.  Hasselbeck could take a dump in his helmet and still get to the NFC championships.  The Cardinals are going to be a team to watch, both on and off the field.  That new quarterback Matt Leinart is going to be a playboy, just you watch.  He’s also just a hair’s breath from replacing Kurt Warner.  Look for him to breath some life into this team as well as garner some attention from the media… something the Cards have been lacking for a while.  I always forget that Arizona has team.  Maybe this guy can score a risky weekend at the playboy mansion or something and give me a reason to remember, who knows.  The Greatest Show on Turf is going to have a solid running game, and that’s good because St. Louis will be in trouble if they have to count on an air attack.  Quarterback Marc Bulger is hardly capable of controlling anything flying… unless he’s predending to be a Starfleet commader in his basement with the local middleschool nerds.  And as for San Fran, well, I got the ‘49ers as one of the worst records in football this year.  Sucks to be you guys, go home and pray to your homosexual shines to Joe Montana and Steve Young.

NFC North?  It’s going to be the Bears.  Strong D and Rex Grossman leading a powerful offense could be enough to pull them through some tough games, but really, I’m not sure how tough they are or how tough they have to be?  Lots of unheardofs and a relatively new coach leaves me thinking this is a weak division leader, but leader nonetheless.  That’s not saying much in division that have three other chuckleheads rounding it out.  Sadly, the closest team running to The Windy City here is Detroit, but with the Lions being lead by ex-Bengal bungler, Jon Kitna, I don’t think they have a hubcap’s chance in Motor City.  Minnesota does not have a quarterback, does not have a reciever, does not have a running back, does not have a defensive line, does not have prayer.  Finally, not even Brett Farve can pull off a winning season for the Packers.  Debatably, he’s the problem, an old engine in a new body, which adds validity to the rumors that he is trying to get out of Green Bay for (possibly) the last season he’ll see.  I’ll still a huge fan; it takes a real leader to know when he is the weak link.  It’s sad, but he’s a football player and a true Packer, if there ever was one.  He’s a selfless mother fucker…. who is going to have a horrible season.

Remember those days when the NFC was a power house, and it didn’t matter who the AFC sent to the Super Bowl, it was really just the NFC Division Championship that determined who was the Super Bowl golden boys?  No longer.  The AFC will breed the champion this year.  If I am right about anything, it will be this.

To the AFC East: Dolphins… by default?  Daunte Culpepper is a huge addition to this team, especially when he is hiding behind a massive offensive line, but is he enough to keep this team competetive with a high powered New England Patriots?  Bottomline: Culpepper = a “W”.  Broken Culpepper = disaster.  And sure, the Pats have some problems with rookies and new players in the line-up due to a virtual No’Easter of free agent trades.  Still, Tom Brady is a determined quarterback and Corey Dillon (who is still a Bengal in my heart… I cry when I think of how dominating my team would be if he were still there, but I digress) that offensive is still very dangerous.  I give the edge to the Patriots as this division leader.  The Bills… well…  I don’t think that Buffalo is anything to speak of, literally.  And the Jets?…. well… we love the Jets.

The AFC South is anything but questionable.  Colts.  Peyton Manning is commanding the premire team in the NFL.  Lots of people have this team going all the way, and I will admit that probablity says that, yes, this could happen.  However, I’m not much for on-line poker, I perfer to read, and history tells me that Peyton Manning is choke artist.  He was a choke artist in college, he was a choke artist last year, and he’s still a choke artist.  Really, he should travel with resperator in the post-season.  The problem with someone like Manning is that by the post season, all you have to ask as an opposing head coach is, “what would Manning do in this situation?” and then counter it.  Manning runs that team on and off the field.  There is no back-up offensive mind for Indianapolis, just one, and that’s the quarterback.  Cut the blue horseshoe off and the body falls.  Nonetheless, these guys are going deep, very deep to the post season.  Perhaps all the way.  The Jaguars are a good team with a lot of underrated weapons, but they have an extremely tough schedule.  Can they handle it?  Survey says… yes… Guttersnake says no.  Rookie coach (relatively speaking), untested wide reciever set, and a historically weak QB; well, I’m sure it’s possible that a deadly defensive line might buy them some time… and turnovers.  Still, for my money, I like the Titans to bring out Vince Young early in the season, benching Billy Volek ASAP, and running second to Indianapolis in the South.  They got a solid defense with great corners, though the offense still smells of Steve McNair.  It could use some polish, and Young has quite a bit left over from a Heisman that he was robbed of.  The Texans are going to have some surprise wins, I think, but Mario Williams will not salvage this team from a .500 season.  This team needs more offensive protection and a secondary before Houston will have something to cheer about.

The AFC West is alot like the NFC East, but not entirely as unpredicable.  Denver is the obvious choice.  A rookie running back doesn’t worry me about this pick.  Mike Shanahan has a history of making running backs leathal weapons, so I think that Mike Bell is in good hands.  They got big offense, they got a big defense, they got a big special teams - they just have a lot of BIG.  But there are two other teams here that have some guns too.  Kansas City and Larry Johnson are a ground war that no rush defense wants to fight.  Also, Head Coach Herm Edwards is a defensive guru.  Expect the unexpected with this team, but only if QB Trent Green can get something going with his receivers.  Otherwise, a set of soccer players could play secondary and cause problems for that pass offense.  Also, take into account a hard Charger team.  The future of this team is counting on very green Philip Rivers in the pocket, and I am as well.  I think he’ll hold though.  Marty Schottenheimer at the helm of this ship will not let San Diego sink… too much.  Either of those two teams will be chasing Denver.  That leaves us with The Raiders and their full house of quarterbacks.  Come on, guys, Jeff George?  Why don’t you just hold open try-outs in Oakland or put a bumpersticker on the team bus that said, “we give up”?

Which brings us, finally, to the AFC North.  You know who I’m going with.  Bengals.  Cincinnati is quietly controlling one of the most dangerous secondaries in the NFL, so so what if they have a rough-cut rush D.  They did last year too.  And if you’ve missed this roll up, the danger from offenses is not the run (for the most part… unfortunately Cincinnati opens against The Chiefs), the threat is largely the pass.  Speaking of offenses; did anyone cheer as Carlson Palmer destroyed two teams in the last two games of the pre-season?  He’s got four, count ‘em, four sets of hands to throw to, and, oh by the way, one is Chad Johnson.  Add two more to the family to get Johnson and Johnson (Rudi and Jeremi) in the backfield, and I am expecting really good things from the Bengals.  What about Pittsburg, you ask?  No way.  They’ll get to a post season game, but Ben Roethlisberger’s being out for the first few games, then coming back; then what if he goes back out?  That will destory anything they could get going as far as a rhythm.  Willie Park (RB) will be the rock for this team.  Baltimore will be a wildcard bid with Steve McNair rushing, but lets hope his passng improves.  Jamal Lewis will help out, but this a piece-meal team of well-known players.  I didn’t see it pulling together in the preseason, but if they do, they could be trouble for everyone.  As for Cleveland, lots of promises, but I’ve been lied to before… by better looking lairs.  They should be so lucky to hope for a winning season.

So post-season predictions look like this:  Bengals vs. Colts in the AFC Championship with Bengals wringing Manning’s chokeable neck, and Panthers vs. Seahawks in the NFC Championship only to have Carolina edge out a very deserving northwestern team.  It’s a catfight in the Super Bowl and you know who I like:  orange and black. 

But hey, kids, its just a game.  No one takes this stuff seriously, right?  Unless, I’m right… then you will all hear about this for a long, long time.  Feel free to chime in with your picks.  Its early, you all have plenty of chances to be wrong.  Okay… so who is ready for Sunday?  Remember, it’s anyone’s game.  Be true to your team and play nice.

Whoo-Dey!!!!

Its a nice day for a white wedding…

As some of you may have read, I was, to say the very least, apprehencive about this Labor Day weekend.  There was a considerable amount of drama (bad drama) left over in the Queen City from two weekends ago, drama that was still unresolved as of my leaving the Fort Bragg area for a lengthy road trip.  And as I said in my previous post, if it had been anyone other than Ms Molly’s wedding, I probably would have abandoned the endevour completely.  As it is, I am extremely glad that I did not.

As I drove through what was left of tropical depression/storm Ernesto toward Cincinnati, my plan was to get a hotel room and go to the wedding, which was not scheduled commence until six p.m.  The rest was more or less white space for a long weekend cut short by driving.  I had even considered that if nothing of excitement had occured by the Sunday afternoon that I would just drive back to Fayetteville a day early in order to save a bit of money on a hotel room. 

I was initially surprised at the graciousness of an old volleyball friend who offered me stay at her house after a random phone call from the road actually went through.  Her house mate was out of town, and thus an extra bed was avalible.  I was so taken aback at such an immediate  and selfless offer that I actually had to think about it during the drive and call her back.  In the end, I took her up on the offer, and just as soon as I got in, we went out.  Turns out some of my friends from college haven’t missed a beat and still acknowledge the fact that our mid-twenties is still part of youth.  The night was true to old form - started up in Mount Adams (a fairly posh and expensive part of the Cincinnati area… fairly party oriented too), moved into a nice after-party (secured by yours truly), and then I found myself at a debateably high-stakes poker party around five a.m. at yet another house, watching those whom were actually seated at the playing table snorting a few lines of blow.  Not my normal scene, to say the very least, but adventure is adventure.  The funniest part for me was realizing when I got back to the house I was staying at around six a.m. that I was locked out.  And in true Guttersnake fashion, I broke in to my weekend room by climbing the tree in the front yard and swinging into an open second story window.

Saturday was sleep-until-noon day.  After a mexican lunchion over in Kentucky and yet another bit of sleepy sleep time, it was the hour to get ready for the wedding.  To note, the wedding and reception was wonderful.  I sat in the back of the chapel if only because I knew that I was not going to fool anyone into the fact that I might be a Catholic.  The wedding was, after all, a Catholic wedding, and  I never know when to answer in prayer, when to shake hands, sing, etc.  Still, great ceremony.  The reception was just as wonderful.  The whole sha-bangabang headed down to the Twentith Centery Theater for toasts, dinner, cake-smearing, dancing with moms and dad; you know, the general post-wedding array.  Leave it to Ms Molly, whom I did theater with at Xavier University, to have her reception in a theater… might just have been an excuse to get headshots, who knows?  My only regret is that it was too short, rolling up around midnight.

Honestly, as great as it was, as I was sitting at the reception dinner with a table of strangers, I was still contemplating going home on Sunday.  I just did not feel right or at home.  There was a level of comfort that just was not sitting well with me that should have been with the cool autumn air breezing through the Ohio River Valley.  Then I met some one.

Glasheen, one of the bride’s maids, and I hit it off almost immediately, and thank goodness she approached me because I probably would not have as I am in a bit of a girl-slump.  There was just something about her.  She was beautiful, but much more than that, talking with her was one of the most conforting and easy ways into, out of, and through conversations that I have engaged in for a long time.  I will spare my audience the details, but we spent the rest of the weekend together (which was far to short in my opinion) basically enjoying each other’s company.  I felt comfortable, being with her was like slipping into a favorite pair of jeans, familiar and relaxing.  The best part was that there was a connection, at least I thought so.  Glasheen is an actor, and by “actor” I mean “actor” and not “waitress”.  She has work, and she understands the trials, the sacrifice, and necessities that come with being a person who must blend a life with art, body, and ambition, because there are very few of us.  And do not confuse me, I do not mean “ambition” is the Monopoly sense of the word, but rather more in the playing Jepordy from the armchair sense of the word.  You know, the goal is for everyone to look at you and say, yeah, Guttersnake and Glasheen are winning, but nobody is really keeping score - its not something you can quantify just realize.  The point is that I felt a kindred spirit, regardless of an extremely abreviated timeline.

To be frank, I needed that, much more than I think that I realized.  I need to be reminded that I am not that different, just different from most of the people around me; that there are perhaps others trying to make similar strides, that deal with similar pressures, and give up similar idealistic comforts, these venus fly traps, that might keep us from finding our proverbal pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.  I needed to feel good about returning to Cincinnati again, and I did.  Old friends from the shadows emerging all weekend as did new ones with smiles and warmth; much more enjoyable than the static receptions that have been a plague to my visits in the past.  I am not ready to settle into anything life yet (my biggest fly trap, I think), and if I am, it needs to be with someone, something, or some group that is willing to move as a unit through further explorations and life.  Bottle line, it was nice to hold someone as a massive set of Labor Day fireworks exploded over the beautiful city skyline on Sunday night over the Ohio River.  As an experience and as a metaphor - it was nice.

The other realization was the long weekends are never long enough.  But I have this feeling (hope?) that this brief encounter was shortened for a reason.  Not sure exactly why… but I have a few ideas that I will not elaborate on to the general public.  I will say in closing that I am looking forward to visiting Cincinnati again as soon as possible.